I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
