Having a random hookup so left but love u
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
