she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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