Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think your dad took our porno
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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