let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
