I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
