So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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