Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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