I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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