how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
