Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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