Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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