im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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