No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
