I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
