Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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