Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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