I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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