I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize