It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
