Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
As shirtless as possible
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
