ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
