erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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