It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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