Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
