If i could tip my vagina, i would.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
