I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Do vagina's smell?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
