first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
