She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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