Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
