I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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