i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
