What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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