I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
