I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
