Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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