i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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