i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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