Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
