we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish I only lived at night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
