Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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