Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it glows. i had to have it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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