Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think a kid would responsible me up
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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