goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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