You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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