kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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