Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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