I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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