My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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