How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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