I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize