mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
where am i from again
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
