He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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