Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
