You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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