I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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