Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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