She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
