whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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