What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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