I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
