Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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