Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
