I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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