the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize