I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
