dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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