He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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