Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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