In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
