oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
