Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
