Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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