Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Are we still banned from the library?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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